Journal Reflection: "Let it Flow"

Let it Flow  

            For eight weeks, my classmates and I had to do a writing exercise proposed by Natalie Goldberg, and introduced to us by our professor Cynthia Pittmann. The goal of the exercise was to practice, improve and auto-evaluate our writing skills. The activity was done in a notebook with no lines and we could write in any direction that we pleased. Also, we had six rules that we had to follow while we wrote. The rules were: “keep your hand moving, don’t cross out, don’t worry about spelling, punctuation or grammar, lose control, don’t think, don’t get logical, and go for the jugular”. (Goldberg 15-16) At first sight, those rules may seem trivial and simple for a writing exercise. However, in practice, it was harder than I could’ve imagined. Nevertheless, this was my second semester doing the exercise, so I found it simpler than the first time I had to accomplish the exercise.

I remember that the first semester I did this writing exercise, called “First Thoughts”, I was very mad at myself when I misspelled a word or when I was extremely open about the problems I was having at the time. This second semester I had a lot of problems that tormented my mind every day. Nonetheless, I felt at peace with myself every time I wrote everything in the notebook. In comparison to last semester, I was astonished or in disbelief of how descriptive I was being about my thoughts. For example, in the first semester, I was really scared of writing the names of the people I was talking about because I thought that if I lost the notebook, someone could instantly know all my problems and fears. On the other hand, this semester I felt very comfortable writing the names and describing the exact situations that were bothering me. In other words, I didn’t “beat around the bush” like I used to do. Another thing that caught my attention this semester was that I wrote in cursive and manuscript handwriting. Last semester, I wrote all of my journal entries in cursive

handwriting because I knew that not many people would understand it, if by chance I lost my notebook. Conversely, this semester I only wrote in cursive handwriting when I was very lazy, but most of the time I wrote in manuscript handwriting, which is the type of handwriting that I use most of the time.

In terms of following the rules, I think I did a very good job. For ten minutes, I had to write anything that came first to my mind. I did notice all the misspelled words and sentences that didn’t even made sense, but that was due to the difference in speed between my thoughts and my handwriting. I never crossed out and I always went for the jugular, which means the thought that is the most powerful at the time. Not once I felt mad at myself for being too emotional in my writing. On the contrary, I patiently waited for any time that I had a break to write everything down. One new thing that I never did for last semester was that I started to write about my dreams too.

When I felt that a dream of mine had any symbolism or message that my subconscious was trying to show me, I rapidly tried to analyze my dream through the First Thoughts’ activity. I have to admit that there were times that the dreams meant nothing. But other times, I found solutions to the problems that were prohibiting me from living a happy life. Another thing that I wrote a lot about this semester was my anxiety. All of the times that I wrote about anxiety was because of college work. Reading my journal entries for this reflection made me realize that this semester has been harder on me than last semester.

To sum up, I consider myself a very skilled writer in the First Thoughts’ activity. Not because I write faster, but because I followed the rules without having to think about them. The first time I accomplished this activity, I had to think a lot because I couldn’t remember the rules. This semester, my writing came out naturally. Additionally, I believe that I enjoyed more this second round of the First Thoughts’ activity because I had already gone through the experience, and learned that I shouldn’t be afraid about being sincere about my problems. Therefore, I felt more comfortable writing about my thoughts and feelings. The journal has definitely helped me in keeping my composure through this second semester that has been very hard on me. Thus, my advice to other students or people that would like to practice this activity is to just let it flow. No matter how scared or unexperienced you are in the activity, I promise that it’s always worth it because in the end you will get to live a happy and conscious life.